The Internet is supposed to break down the walls between writers and readers and that all sounds good but I’m tired of metaphors. Let’s talk REAL interaction!
Buy a paperback – I buy you a beer!
I’m not promising some expensive micro-brew – I’d like to still make something on this deal. But yes, you could be a pioneer in new frontiers of Internet marketing! (When you say stuff like that, you have to have an exclamation point at the end – the union insists.)
Here is all the fine print (and I printed it big for you this time, since you’re not as young as you used to be):
You (hereafter referred to as ‘You’) buy a lovely trade paperback version of ‘Green’ or ‘Mindbenders’, my two best books (Moneyback guarantee, as per our legal department: If you’re not entirely satisfied after thirty days, I don’t know what you can do about it) on Amazon Createspace for the bargain price of $14.99.
Buy the ‘Green’ paperback here.
Buy the Mindbenders paperback here.
Then you (‘You’) email me (hereafter referred to as ‘Me’ or ‘I’, depending on the technicalities: see Marshall vs. Westmoreland, 1857, ipso facto, et al) at email@example.com (Address line: Free Beer Offer)and tell me the next time you’ll be in New York. If I can work out the timing (as long as I’m not working), I’ll meet you someplace and we (hereafter referred to as ‘We’, within limits) will have a beer. You get to ask me one question while I’m sober (That doesn’t mean I promise to answer). Of course, after I’ve had a few, you can ask as many questions as you like.
For those of you who read my books and thought ‘Wow, what an imagination – I wonder what this guy is like’, here’s your chance to find out. For those of you who (wisely) thought, ‘What a lunatic!’, buy the ebook. It’s
cheaper less expensive but no beer.
This offer good until I decide not to offer it any more. All disputes to be arbitrated by the firm of Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga and McCormack. (Wait-you left out a Hungadunga! And you left out the most important one! If you know where that comes from, you probably qualify for another beer)
All patents pending, no animals were harmed in the making of this offer, side effects may include drowsiness (almost guaranteed), nausea (not the Sartre kind), lack of libido and an unexplained craving for S’mores.
Sorry, it’s just the kind of day I’m having…but I really mean it. Buy the book, I buy the beer.
You’re on your own from here…