{"id":1649,"date":"2012-07-06T09:30:55","date_gmt":"2012-07-06T13:30:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/?p=1649"},"modified":"2012-07-06T09:30:55","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T13:30:55","slug":"moses-and-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/2012\/07\/06\/moses-and-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Moses and Me"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Of course, we didn’t have paper or quills, but nice likeness otherwise…<\/p><\/div>\n

Weird guy, Moses. Reminds me of Lincoln. Brooders, both of \u2018em. No, not brothers, brooders. Sat around brooding all night. Don\u2019t let them get near the mead or you\u2019ll pay for it.<\/p>\n

Moses would sit around the campfire some nights and just whine like a little girl. It wasn\u2019t befitting, if you ask me, for somebody God elected. One vote\u2019s all you need if it\u2019s the right one.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t appreciate me, they don\u2019t want to be free<\/em>. Sure they want to be free, I said, they just don\u2019t understand how hard it is, they\u2019ve got a slave\u2019s idea of freedom, all dancing and singing and running around with the other guy\u2019s wife or sister or daughter or whatever. That\u2019s sick<\/em>, he said\u2014not exactly in those words. We\u2019ll put a stop to that pretty quick<\/em>, he said and he did. You ask me, there were originally like maybe six commandments. Once he didn\u2019t like something, he did something about it. And it always seemed to me the handwriting on the last few commandments wasn\u2019t the same as the rest but it\u2019s been a long time since I checked.<\/p>\n

You had to be very careful with your campfires with him, too. I remember one time I was going to pick this bush for the campfire and he says, \u201cNot that<\/em> one!\u201d And proceeds to talk to it like it\u2019s an old friend. \u201cCan I take this<\/em> one?\u201d I said and he just waved like sure, whatever. Very quirky guy. Not always easy to work with. This, they don’t tell you in history.<\/p>\n

And then he comes down from the mountain with the commandments and after that, you\u2019d think he was so special. Wouldn\u2019t get a haircut, got like three or four of the same robes made so he always looked like Moses<\/em>. Like we had anybody else to take fashion sense from\u2014Abraham was no pillar of hot fashion, let me tell you. Jacob, maybe. Joseph got his coat from him, so he inherited, y\u2019know? It\u2019s not the same.<\/p>\n

But Moses\u2019 moods got worse toward the end. One night, he said to me, \u201cI could have been Pharoah\u201d and of course, I knew what was coming. \u201cYou led a whole nation; God talks to you,\u201d I tried but no use. \u201cI want a pyramid,\u201d he said. It was getting late and we were both tired. This was just after God killed Aaron\u2019s sons so things were tense. \u201cI want a pyramid of my own.\u201d And then, there\u2019s a bolt of lightning strikes a tree right near by and he waves his hand and yells, \u201cOkay, can\u2019t a guy talk?\u201d He didn\u2019t have an easy time of it.<\/p>\n

So I promised him a pyramid that night but I never came through on it. When God says \u201cCross the river,\u201d you cross the river. You\u2019ve got to know where your bread is buttered\u2014or milk n\u2019 honeyed, in this case.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Weird guy, Moses. Reminds me of Lincoln. Brooders, both of \u2018em. No, not brothers, brooders. Sat around brooding all night. Don\u2019t let them get near the mead or you\u2019ll pay for it. Moses would sit around the campfire some nights …<\/span> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[153,152],"class_list":["post-1649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-else","category-uncategorized","tag-moses","tag-weird-history"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1649"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1651,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649\/revisions\/1651"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tedkrever.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}