It isn’t easy being happy.
The older you are, the harder it gets. There’s no feeling happy without kicking up the dust of past disappointments, self-delusion, all the foolishness. The things that made you happy still do; the uncertain, unreliable element – the part that worries you – is yourself.
At the same time, as you get older, every feeling, every moment becomes more precious. You become very aware of time speeding past and of not letting anything good zip by untouched. So much of life is built around our fears and pains that we grow comfortable with them and that’s an impulse that needs to be fought.
A new acquaintance reminded me a couple of weeks ago that ‘Happiness is Possible’. And every day, I’m seeing more and more evidence of that. The hard part is believing it, relaxing and enjoying it.
My deepest conviction is that happiness is worth grabbing for all it’s worth every time it shows its face. If it fades, I won’t be looking back thinking there was anything I could have done to prolong it that I didn’t. If it deepens, then I started enjoying it sooner. Win-win.
Like a wonderful friend told me recently: The past is a mess, the future is scary but right now is alright. Better than alright. Is it okay to admit that?