Chuck - Door No 1

I started out this morning wondering if this democracy thing is all it’s cracked up to be.

The voters of the Slovak Republic have so far given 74% of their ballots in an online bridge-naming contest to Chuck Norris instead of their own Queen Maria Theresa, according to published reports. This seems puzzling, since Google searches for ‘Chuck Norris philanthropist’ show many hits for the Veteran’s Administration, Make-a-Wish Foundation and the United Way but nothing that seems to provide any benefit whatever for Slovakians.

Ahh- nold

If you wanted to honor an action star, hey – the bridge goes from Slovakia into Austria – why not Ahh-nold? Sure, he’s been soiled by his association with politics but that was California, which shouldn’t count. I mean, they elected Jerry Brown again, didn’t they? How seriously could they be taking this Governor thing?

Maria Theresa survived smallpox, gave birth to sixteen (!) children in twenty years (thirteen of whom survived, which is pretty remarkable). She took the throne without having been educated for it (her father apparently holding out for a son who never appeared), possessing a tiny army, very little in the treasury and a husband who was more interested in his mistresses. She managed to get him elected Holy Roman Emperor, get herself named King of Bohemia (according to Wikipedia) and then to throw out the several armies that had seized parts of her territory.

Maria Theresa - Door No 2

On the other hand, she kept her country constantly embroiled in wars, was ‘probably the most anti-semitic monarch of her time’ (which is saying something) and her youngest daughter turned out to be Marie Antoinette, who has to take some responsibility for the fall of the monarchy in France.

So maybe Chuck doesn’t look so bad…

It’s exciting to see another example of the wisdom of democracy, isn’t it?